Showing posts with label adult humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adult humor. Show all posts

Friday, February 09, 2018

Wanna start your Valentine's celebration with a bang?


What better way to start your Valentine's celebrations with your special someone than to enjoy a super-hot excerpt together from my erotic-romantic comedy novel, Beautiful Dreamer... Maybe you could act it out?  ;-)


Beautiful Dreamer
https://www.extasybooks.com/978-1-4874-1560-0-beautiful-dreamer/

Can a sexy, sleepwalking librarian corral a commitment-shy sheriff during the mayhem of rodeo week? When Marianne the Librarian sleepwalks into the brawny arms of handsome Sheriff Cody Greene, sparks fly and an erotic night of pleasure ensues. Amazingly, Marianne hasn't a clue that their rendezvous even happened.

A confirmed bachelor, Cody realizes Marianne isn't the "love 'em and leave 'em" type he's used to entertaining in bed, and he's worried. Will she make him take a walk down the aisle if he confesses to his part of her fantasies? Can't they just be friends with benefits?

Will Cody be able to tell Marianne the truth about his involvement in her sleepwalking escapades? Will he and Marianne discover beyond their fantasies true love prevails?



Excerpt: Cody realizes Marianne is sleepwalking through her place of work because she acts like she's a damsel in distress and he is a knight in shining armor. But no matter how Cody resists Marianne's  seduction, he finds his match in the normally reserved librarian.



"Marianne, you're tempting me beyond the brink, but you know we can't." Cody took a deep breath, steadying his nerves. Somehow he had to talk her out of this situation without hurting her feelings or losing any more of his clothing. "We have to think about your health and reputation. I don't have anything on me for, uh, you know, protection."


Marianne paused in her litany of kisses upon his neck and brow. She drew back, blinking rapidly as she stared into his serious hazel-green eyes.

"The brave and handsome knight travels without the sheath to his sword?"


He exhaled a painful sigh. "Yes, yes, that's right. I left it along with my white horse back at the castle."


Her eyes narrowed. She reached behind herself and picked up his trousers, plucking his billfold out of the pocket.


"My good lord always carried his sheath in his moneybag just in case." A wicked grin graced her love-swollen lips as she withdrew the forgotten condom from his billfold and waved it inches from his nose. "It appears ye do likewise."


Cody blinked then blinked again. His jaw dropped open to the size of the Palo Duro Canyon. How had that gotten in his wallet? Then it dawned on him. He had picked up a pair of condoms off the ground outside the gymnasium after making his obligatory visit to the senior prom a few weeks back. They were brand-spanking new and in good shape, and he had thought he'd keep them just in case anyone ever needed any for just such an emergency.


"Uh, yeah, it appears I do." He cleared his cracking voice. "It doesn't mean we have to—"


Covering his lips with hers, Marianne silenced any further objections. Her butterfly fingers fluttered across his shoulders and down his sides, coming to a comfortable rest at his tight buns. Caressing him with unrestrained passion, she struggled to remove their remaining barrier.


"Allow me," Cody said, giving up the fight. He rolled his temptress to the side before carefully sliding his shorts down over his rock-hard erection.


Marianne's eyes widened. "My lord has indeed been blessed with a very broad sword."


Her knuckles whitened in their grip around the purple condom wrapper, her small hands trembling ever so slightly.


This has gone far enough. Cody reached out and gently cradled Marianne's delicate face in his big hands and waited for her rapidly shifting focus to settle fully on his face.


"Marianne, it's okay if you want to stop now," he said slowly, deliberately. "I'll understand. I promise."


The sound of tearing plastic echoed throughout the silent library. Her lascivious smile said it all.


"Once the horse has escaped from his stall, it would be a sin not to allow him to gallop forth. Would it not, my lord?"


The look of pure wantonness in her eyes dissolved Cody's last iota of restraint. Marianne cried joyously as he scooped her up and placed her astride him, gently guiding her hands to sheath his member.


He wound his own hands into her thick tresses, bringing her face to meet his in order to partake of a deep and lingering kiss. With exquisite slowness, he eased himself inside her in the most intimate of embraces.


Her tightness enveloped him totally, driving him almost over the edge. Breathing deeply, he struck up a strong and steady rhythm of thrusts. She arched her back and responded with a tantalizing twist of her hips, pulling him deeper into herself and deeper still, seemingly to the depths of her very soul.

They squealed and groaned and bucked and bounced through the sea of cushions, locked in a rollicking dance of desire. His mouth tasted her sweet breasts once again as he stroked her sensitive nub. She cried out in rapturous delight, begging him to come along with her.


A knight can't very well refuse his lady. Cody eagerly obliged his comely companion with a series of hard, quick thrusts. Marianne threw back her head, screaming as the potent eternity of their joining came to its mutual climax. Plunging together over the passion's edge, they drifted calmly back toward earth and collapsed, sated, into each other's arms...



Beautiful Dreamer is available in ebook formats from eXtasy Books, and is also available in Kindle and print at Amazon and other fine ebook retailers.

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

My Sexy Saturday: Brandi Strikes Back excerpt

This is it... The tenth and final chapter in the saga of Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures. It doesn't get any sexier than this!

And it fits in perfectly with this week's My Sexy Saturday blog hop theme--A Sexy Galaxy. After all, Brandi is a young woman who's slept with half the galaxy--and is working on hooking up with the other half--so she really is an expert in the field of science fiction erotic-romance. (With a touch of humor,  no less.)  :-)


  Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 10 -- 
Brandi Strikes Back

 http://www.extasybooks.com/Brandi-Strikes-Back/

As Chapter 10 opens, Brandi must find a way to disable her android replicas on Old Terra to prevent the interdimensional bandits from invading the universe. But the Pulsating Purple Parsnip is temporarily grounded. What can they do? Hijacking a spaceship and commanding her own crew of androids, Brandi strikes back the only way she knows how, using her wits and sexuality. Will Brandi and Robin survive the battle to discover their own happily ever after?



An excerpt from Chapter 10 – Brandi Strikes Back (Adults only!)



“Harder—I can take it in this form.” A Robin slipped his erection between my android’s lips and I—my replica, that is—began to suck greedily. “Hmm, chocolate-mint flavored cum?”


“It’s what a large majority of females indicated in a survey was their favorite flavor, so why not?” Juanito seemed to have withdrawn his consciousness from his ass-fucking friend and moved over to the Robin receiving my tongue’s attention to his dick. “Now that’s what I call a blow job. Oo, oo! I don’t want to come too soon. Let me switch again.”


Before I knew it, I felt my duplicate lifted and shifted into a new position to accommodate a Robin replica’s member in my cunt. I eagerly impaled my replica’s pussy upon the waiting cock and wasn’t disappointed. With all my duplicate’s holes fully lubricated and occupied, I was enjoying myself immensely.

“Keep up the good work, boys,” I mumbled between licks of the luscious dick dangling in front of my android’s face. The ass and cunt fuckers kept up a steady and powerful rhythm, spiraling their strokes hard against my clit. I teetered on the edge of a monstrous orgasm. Then I felt my real-world partner moving his hands from cupping my buttocks to finagling with his headset, and it distracted me.

I frowned. “Whatever are you doing?”

“Something I haven’t tried before—I’m going to take in the feed from three replicas simultaneously. Get ready for a wild ride, Brandi Whyne!”

I knew what was going to happen next. After all, Juanito only wanted a quickie, but I was determined to enjoy my full share of pleasure. I rocked my hips hard against the cocks thrusting into me and tightened my pelvic muscles. I pulled the dick between my lips deeper still into my—her—throat and activated a sub-routine called the vacuum that popped up in front of my android’s viewing area. Juanito squealed and pressed my ass harder against the spaceship landing gear.

“Here we come all at once!” Juanito cried.

The taste of chocolate-mint filled my mouth—gallons of it, or so it seemed. I felt the prince’s puny pecker stiffen and shake within me as my android enjoyed the no-so-tender ministrations of the three Robins’ cocks’ intense vibrations. Their pussy and ass pounding triggered a series of mind-expanding climaxes that built and waned and built and waned, going on for what felt like forever. With one last hard thrust to my cunt and a tonsil-tickling kiss of thanks from one of my satisfied customers, I collapsed to the ground and the world went dark.

Brandi Strikes Back is now available at eXtasy Books: http://www.extasybooks.com/Brandi-Strikes-Back/

Chapters 1 - 9 are available at eXtasy Books, AR ebooks, and wherever fine ebooks are sold:


Enjoy your Sexy Saturday!


 

Saturday, November 07, 2015

My Sexy Saturday: An Excerpt from Brandi Whyne Ch. 9

Welcome to this week's My Sexy Saturday blog hop! This week's theme is "While You Were Sexy". Well, Brandi is always sexy, no matter what sort of situation she finds herself in and with whomever she is with at the time--male, female, human or android...



Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures:  Chapter 9--To Lay the Dirty Queen

As Chapter 9 opens, Brandi finds herself at the hands of dirty Queen Broomhilda and a dozen horny ladies-in-waiting. After a bit of fun, she escapes and discovers renegade Prince Juanito has been creating android replicas of King Ricardo’s court. Will these mechanoid sex workers overthrow the monarch, or do they play only a small part in a much grander scheme devised by Robin’s evil ex, Marian? Can Brandi defeat an army of her own android clones?

To Lay the Dirty Queen is available from eXtasy Books, Amazon, All Romance ebooks, and wherever fine ebooks are sold. 


Brandi has infiltrated the dirty queen's bath in this excerpt from Chapter 9 – To Lay the Dirty Queen:


 “Allow me to help you.” My curvy wanton picked up a wash mitt and poured a drop of bath gel onto it, then leaned over the side and began soaping my breasts in slow, circular motions, inwardly spiraling toward my pert nipples. “It’s the least I can do for all the fun you showed us this evening.”

I sighed. “Thanks. You girls don’t have a good time every night?”

She made a sad pout. “Most nights, no. The queen kicks us out of her bedchamber whenever she has company. Our personal quarters are rather small, so we can’t get up to much activity.”

These women weren’t flesh and blood, so why did they even need private quarters? Couldn’t they just all line up in a closet and switch off when they weren’t needed? An odd notion occurred to me. I sensed that my sexy hostesses didn’t realize they were synthetic creations. Did they not know they were androids?

“I’m so sorry to hear you all don’t have much time for fun.” My sympathy was genuine, and my curiosity goaded me to keep questioning her. “What is your name, my dear? Where are you from?”

Her expression instantly lit up. “I’m Chelsie. I’m originally from a small town two hours south of the capital by the bullet train.” She plunged the mink-like mitt between my thighs and gave it a swirl about my clitoris. I jumped up and squealed, then gave her a quick peck on the cheek for her cheekiness. She giggled. “I like you, Brandi.”

“I like you, too, Chelsie. You seem an honest, sensible, young lady.” And one that didn’t seem to know that she wasn’t human. Or was it an act? I was about to question her some more when we were interrupted by my cinnamon-skinned lover who had been observing us from across the way for some time.

“Sensible isn’t the word I’d use to describe Miss Chelsie,” the exotic beauty murmured. She struck a daring pose, hands on slender hips, her naked pelvis thrust forward revealing her shaven pussy, her rosy-brown nipples pointing straight ahead, mesmerizing me.

I took a deep breath to calm my over-stimulated nerves, currently being stimulated nicely by Chelsie’s digits. “Ooo, if she’s not sensible, how would you describe Chelsie, then?”   

“I’d describe Chelsie as curious and ready to shag at a moment’s notice.” Cinnamon strode toward the tub and shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no. You can’t get her cleaned properly that way. Let’s get Brandi into the shower booth. You take one side. I’ll take the other.”

Chelsie giggled. “Oh, yes, please.”

Sometimes I don’t know what gets into me—well, that’s not exactly true. Huge strap-ons and men’s cocks get into me frequently, but sometimes girls just want to have fun…with each other in a shower. 

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures:  Chapter 9--To Lay the Dirty Queen is now available from eXtasy Books and wherever fine ebooks are sold.





Have a Great My Sexy Saturday!

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Happy 100th My Sexy Saturday!

Woo-hoo! It's been 100 weeks of  the My Sexy Saturday blog hop. This anniversary week's theme is "We're Sexy Hot!"

What does that mean? It means we can publish excerpts on whatever we feel is "hot". We can post an excerpt from a work-in-progress or one of our published works. I'm currently  wrapping up my Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures serial, so I thought I'd post some fun and sexy paragraphs from the last chapter that I'm still working on, Chapter 10--Brandi Strikes Back! (Chapter 8--Brandi Courts Disaster will be released August 15, 2015 from eXtasy Books. Chapter 9--To Lay the Dirty Queen should release in September, and Chapter 10 in October. That's the plan.)


 Here's the overall series synopsis:

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Fanny Hill and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex!


You can find purchase links to the first seven chapters of Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures at eXtasy Books: http://www.extasybooks.com/brandi-whyne 
   

You can read excerpts from the serial at Brandi's own blog site:  http://brandi-whyne.blogspot.com 

Here's an excerpt from my work-in-progress, Brandi Strikes Back!

Scene set up: Brandi tries to convince the horny Prince Juanito that she has to stop an invasion by her android replicas that he created.


"Saving this world—this universe—is more important than you getting laid again.” I softened my tone when I saw how hurt he looked at my rebuff. I squeezed his hand and gave him a peck on the cheek. “All right, we can enjoy quickie after I get back from saving everyone’s bacon. Deal?”

“Deal.” He returned my friendly buss with another tonsil-tickling, body-tingling episode and then let me go. “Wanna know what’s the third thing you can’t do on your list?”

“My list?” I shook my head to clear it.  “Oh, I thought you’d shot down everything on it already.”

“No, the last thing you wanted to accomplish was to clear your name and reputation in front of the media. It’s never going to happen, Brandi Whyne, and you of all people should realize that it’s impossible.”

“Why is that?”

 “Because I’ve been vidtaping us getting it on for sale on my adults-only web site… I’m going to be a zillionaire in a few hours!” His maniacal laughter sent chills up my spine. “You have a first rate naughty reputation throughout the galaxy, and there’s nothing that’s ever going to change it.”

I shrugged. “True. Just as long as everyone thinks I’m your garden variety, sex-crazed nymphomaniac and not a heartless kidnapper I can live with it.” I winked and blew him a kiss as I backed out the door. “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do sometimes.”

Read more of Brandi's Erotic Adventures at eXtasy Books today! 

Have a great 100th My Sexy Saturday blog hop!