My Sexy Saturday: An Excerpt from Brandi Whyne Ch. 9

Welcome to this week's My Sexy Saturday blog hop! This week's theme is "While You Were Sexy". Well, Brandi is always sexy, no matter what sort of situation she finds herself in and with whomever she is with at the time--male, female, human or android...

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures:  Chapter 9--To Lay the Dirty Queen

As Chapter 9 opens, Brandi finds herself at the hands of dirty Queen Broomhilda and a dozen horny ladies-in-waiting. After a bit of fun, she escapes and discovers renegade Prince Juanito has been creating android replicas of King Ricardo’s court. Will these mechanoid sex workers overthrow the monarch, or do they play only a small part in a much grander scheme devised by Robin’s evil ex, Marian? Can Brandi defeat an army of her own android clones?

To Lay the Dirty Queen is available from eXtasy Books, Amazon, All Romance ebooks, and wherever fine ebooks are sold. 

Brandi has infiltrated the dirty queen's bath in this excerpt from Chapter 9 – To Lay the Dirty Queen:

 “Allow me to help you.” My curvy wanton picked up a wash mitt and poured a drop of bath gel onto it, then leaned over the side and began soaping my breasts in slow, circular motions, inwardly spiraling toward my pert nipples. “It’s the least I can do for all the fun you showed us this evening.”

I sighed. “Thanks. You girls don’t have a good time every night?”

She made a sad pout. “Most nights, no. The queen kicks us out of her bedchamber whenever she has company. Our personal quarters are rather small, so we can’t get up to much activity.”

These women weren’t flesh and blood, so why did they even need private quarters? Couldn’t they just all line up in a closet and switch off when they weren’t needed? An odd notion occurred to me. I sensed that my sexy hostesses didn’t realize they were synthetic creations. Did they not know they were androids?

“I’m so sorry to hear you all don’t have much time for fun.” My sympathy was genuine, and my curiosity goaded me to keep questioning her. “What is your name, my dear? Where are you from?”

Her expression instantly lit up. “I’m Chelsie. I’m originally from a small town two hours south of the capital by the bullet train.” She plunged the mink-like mitt between my thighs and gave it a swirl about my clitoris. I jumped up and squealed, then gave her a quick peck on the cheek for her cheekiness. She giggled. “I like you, Brandi.”

“I like you, too, Chelsie. You seem an honest, sensible, young lady.” And one that didn’t seem to know that she wasn’t human. Or was it an act? I was about to question her some more when we were interrupted by my cinnamon-skinned lover who had been observing us from across the way for some time.

“Sensible isn’t the word I’d use to describe Miss Chelsie,” the exotic beauty murmured. She struck a daring pose, hands on slender hips, her naked pelvis thrust forward revealing her shaven pussy, her rosy-brown nipples pointing straight ahead, mesmerizing me.

I took a deep breath to calm my over-stimulated nerves, currently being stimulated nicely by Chelsie’s digits. “Ooo, if she’s not sensible, how would you describe Chelsie, then?”   

“I’d describe Chelsie as curious and ready to shag at a moment’s notice.” Cinnamon strode toward the tub and shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no. You can’t get her cleaned properly that way. Let’s get Brandi into the shower booth. You take one side. I’ll take the other.”

Chelsie giggled. “Oh, yes, please.”

Sometimes I don’t know what gets into me—well, that’s not exactly true. Huge strap-ons and men’s cocks get into me frequently, but sometimes girls just want to have fun…with each other in a shower. 

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures:  Chapter 9--To Lay the Dirty Queen is now available from eXtasy Books and wherever fine ebooks are sold.

Have a Great My Sexy Saturday!

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The secret to sexual compatibility?

Here's an article that made me think twice. (Maybe more than twice!):

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22452653/

And it got me scratching my head... Just what is the secret to sexual compatibility?

We casually say things like “opposites attract” and “there’s security in familiarity”, but for every couple you meet that are complete opposites in personality that seem to have a good relationship you’ll find another couple that look like identical twins—they dress, think and breathe alike—and they seem perfectly happy together, too.

With so many contradictions in the world, how do we discover this sexual compatibility secret?

This one paragraph offers a glimmer of hope to solving this mystery:

At least one study has suggested that it’s not so much the other person’s personality as it is yours. Happy people tend to be happy in relationships. The lovers and spouses of people who are less negative in their outlook and behavior tend to be more satisfied, too.

It’s that simple. “Happy people tend to be happy in relationships.” Uh-huh. I can grasp that statement.

But really—that’s all it is? I mean, doesn’t physical attractiveness and sexual technique play a role in this complex equation? With all those “Viva Viagra!” commercials playing on television lately, you’d think that all it took to obtain sexual capability is for the guy to pop a pill or two and swing his partner around on the dance floor a few times.

But what if one person in the relationship refuses to be “happy” and enjoys acting out in a negative fashion? That would sabotage the entire relationship it apears. After all, it takes two to tango. Both dancers have to be dancing to the same tune.

So, what can you do if you’re the “not-so-happy person” in the relationship or the “happy person” and your partner acts the complete opposite? I haven’t a clue. But if you have any good advice on how to put both partners on the same level of happiness and insure sexual capability, I think everyone would appreciate your insights as well. So, leave your words of wisdom in the comment box below.

Here’s to “happily every after” in our stories—and our relationships.

Love is… a really good pair of jeans?

Love is… a really good pair of jeans?

Click the link below to read a very interesting article:

http://tinyurl.com/yp4mpr

Or here’s it all in a nutshell:

For most women, the choice between sex and a new wardrobe is simple -- they go for the clothes.

Women on average say they would be willing to give up sex for 15 months for a closet full of new apparel, with 2 percent ready to abstain from sex for three years in exchange for new duds, according to a new survey of about 1,000 women in 10 U.S. cities. Sixty-one percent of women polled said it would be worse to lose their favorite article of clothing than give up sex for a month.

Okay, who besides me doesn’t believe the results of this survey (which was sponsored by a consumer products corporation, no less)?

I own possibly the worse wardrobe on the planet for a woman of my age and status, yet I don’t think I’d willingly go without sex for fifteen months in order to gain a closet full of new duds. I’d nominate myself for that wonderfully humiliating TV show “What Not to Wear” first before I’d go without the lovin’.

What do you think? Are there really women out there who value material possessions above a good, sweaty one-night-stand or some affectionate cuddling on the sofa with the significant other? I can’t fathom it... You mean, every woman on the planet doesn’t want to do the nasty now and then?

Are you one of them? Do you know any emotionally healthy woman who fits this description? Is there help for this condition?

The next thought that goes running through my rattled brain is perhaps the survey respondents defined “sex” differently than the writers of the survey did. Perhaps these women are willing to go without “going all the way” for new clothing for a year or more, but they don’t want to give up the hugging, kissing, and the closeness bit. Perhaps “sex” to these women means “copulation without affection” and what they and their husbands/significant others experience is “lovemaking” in its purest form. It most certainly isn’t “sex”.

Now, that would go along way to explain these disturbing survey results to little ol’ me. I was really worried there for a moment. After all, “sex” is one of those naughty words that good girls don’t do—let alone write about—on a regular basis. I mean, really! What kind of decent, well-mannered woman thinks about sex all the time?

Present company excluded, of course. We all realize how special we are here at the Celine's Dreams blog, don’t we?

“Lovemaking” is a romantic, fuzzy-bunny-wonderful sort of activity. And it’s not something you’d want to talk about in public with a survey-taker from a big corporation. Besides, how do we know that these women polled weren’t given “kickbacks” for stating they rather own more material possessions like clothes over having sex?

It’s a conspiracy I tell ya! A conspiracy—a conspiracy overseen by the fashion industry!

Okay, I got that out of my system, and I’m calming down a bit. Whew! I hate the thought of a conspiracy that doesn’t involve aliens and Fox Muldar of The X Files. I mean, what’s the use of starting a conspiracy if it doesn’t involve bug-eyed monsters and the ever-handsome David Duchovny?

But I still find this whole idea of clothes being more important than sex upsetting. Don’t the lyrics to that famous Burt Bacarach song mean anything to this current generation?

What the world needs now is love, sweet love…

The song doesn’t say anything about the whole world needing blue jeans, now does it? Besides, if we’re all busy loving each other, the blue jeans are going to wind up in a heap on the floor anyway.

***
Speaking of clothes being tossed on the floor in a wild fervor of lust and excitement, my next Liquid Silver Books release, Hanging with a Time Surfer, debuts next month. Check out the excellent cover and an excerpt online at the SiN Forums at http://www.lsbooks.com or at my web site: http://www.celinechatillon.com/timesurfer.html

Short and sexy read--Operation: Seduction!

My short story Operation: Seduction! is now for sale at eXtasy Books...

"Office Slut" Mallory Jones can't wait any longer... She wants some "superhero" hot fun in the boardroom with her shy co-worker "Kent Clarke". But can the gorgeous geek deliver?

At $1.59, it's the original "cheap thrill". If you've always wanted to read erotic-romance in e-book formats but didn't want to dive into a full-length novel, the Fantasy Games series are a quick and easy way to take the plunge. You can find it online at

http://www.extasybooks.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=EB&Product_Code=408&Category_Code=Newthisweek

or at http://tinyurl.com/2f59zn

Enjoy!

Celine
http://www.celinechatillon.com

What say you? Celebrities speak out about love and sex

You ever wonder how other people feel on the topics sex and love? These celebrity quotes are quite revealing. From Moronland.net All-Star. (Thanks to Elaine L. for sharing.)

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Tom Clancy

Ah, Mr. Clancy, with your best-seller list status you can certainly afford to buy a whole lot of whoopee, can’t you?

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither." --Steve Martin

All too true of too many guys, I’m afraid. Sigh!

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." --Woody Allen

Woody should know about “good partners” shouldn’t he? Poor guy ended up sleeping with his stepdaughter!

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night." --Rodney Dangerfield

But only if you hang out where there are a lot of other bisexuals and/or gays, right?

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." --Lynn Lavner

Hmm, I don’t know… Expensive cars don’t do a thing for me. You’re better off showing me a well-made vibrator, Lynn.

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist." --Matt Barry

What would you like to see “stuffed” next, Matt? With an attitude like that, I can predict you’re not getting any for a long time!

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." --George Burns

No wonder the man live to be over a hundred!

"Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships." --Sharon Stone

Bingo! And men wonder why many women feel sometimes like they have to fake the big O… A faker only deserves a fake—right, guys?

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading." --Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

Hopefully she’s not reading your bank statements, Mr. Jobs.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." --Jack Nicholson

With an ungrateful child like you… Well, “poor woman” is all I can say.

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but
he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." --Barbara Bush

True enough! (And he can’t keep from bragging about how much of it he got, either.)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." --Robin Williams

That’s only because the man couldn’t keep his genitals in his pants in the presence of other women, Robin.

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne

Enough said!

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." --Billy Crystal

We need a place, too… Preferably a well-kept, penthouse suite that you’ve set us up in on Park Avenue, Mr. Crystal.

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." --Robert De Niro

Gratitude can never be underrated.

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" --Dustin Hoffman

Well, if it causes something to swell so large that it explodes and falls off, that could be a problem. A big problem!

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."--Jerry Seinfeld

And then…what happens? See, that’s why men’s magazines need more articles on sexual techniques.

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." --Rod Stewart

Me! Me! You don’t like me, Mr. Stewart. Can I have a house, too?

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." --Robin Williams

Which only goes to prove that old adage, “A man’s brains are located in his pants.”

What say you? You think some of these celebrity remarks about love and sex are on the mark or completely out in left field? Is it “nature” or “nuture” that makes these celebs say the things they’ve said?

Personally, I find a lot of these celebrity remarks on the downer side. That’s why I enjoy reading and writing romance… A little sparkle, a fantasy that true love can be found and your perfect sexual partner exists on this planet and will find you—this dream makes it all worthwhile and keeps you going day after day.

Here's a quote that pretty much sums it up for me: "A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses."-- Sohan Powar

Here’s to romance!